Compulsive sex is the fast food of relationships, and developing a taste for the slow-cooked meal may take some time.
Here the experienced therapist can be of huge assistance by reminding the sex addict that dating is not a race, nor a competition, but rather an adventure into the complete unknown where everything the addict thought they knew about intimacy turned out to be false, and a whole new universe must open up in order to move forward. Before recovery, the sex addict made decisions independently, choosing who to date, whom to have sex with, who to contact and what acts to participate in.
This article stresses the need for transparency, but only with therapists, 12 step group members, and the like.If the "victim" is rushing into sex, they are setting themselves up (whether the sex is with an addict or not, imo.).This article is about sober dating, and what it should look like.Of course, these choices brought the addict much pain, and now post-recovery, he or she must tolerate a temporary loss of autonomy, sharing with a therapist, a 12-step group sponsor and even a support group the everyday minutia of their dating process.Here the addict may long to keep just one or two secrets, but to do so would be counterproductive to the entire recovery process.The group most critically in need of transparency from the sex addict - his or her potential partners - are completely ignored.